burkini ban

This whole burkini ban mess is the most idiotic thing in the world and I’m tired

I’ve been going to see a Rolfer for the past month — yet another attempt to help intermittent low back pain. He suggested during our third session that it might be due to repressed strong emotions, like for example, rage. Some people gasp at this possibility — What?! No way. I am a very evolved […]

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pastor lee drop box film

We need to be uncomfortable: why seeing The Drop Box film made me realize what’s missing from every hard conversation in America right now

The Drop Box film is about a South Korean pastor and his wife who run an orphanage and who take in abandoned babies, many of them with physical and/or developmental disabilities. These are the disposable of South Korea’s culture — and of all cultures, including our own. And when I say “these,” what I mean are all […]

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hand on shoulder dreams about people who have died

Here and Not Here: A dream about my Momma and second chances

I have friends who have lost loved ones, and they swear that the ones they knew show up from time to time—a bright bird suddenly singing in an overhead tree, a blooming plant, an unexpected song on the radio just as they’re thinking of the one recently departed, a picture that one day is hanging at […]

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how to help someone who is depresssed

Some thoughts on how to love someone with depression, Part II: What you can do

After I shared my own story via Facebook, a couple people asked what they could do if someone they know confided in them that they were depressed. While everyone’s experience is different, and I can’t speak for others, I did share what’s been helpful for me personally—and it seemed also to resonate with other folks who’d been […]

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how to love someone with depression

Some thoughts on how to love someone with depression, Part 1: What happens when we say it out loud

This entry is adapted from a Facebook post — and the conversation that followed — on my FB wall in August 2014, shortly after the death of Robin Williams. I had a couple of friends ask for a link they could share with others, so that’s why I created this. The interaction in the thread seemed to have […]

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link between curiosity and empathy

Terrifying spider panic and the link between curiosity and empathy

I was busily preparing Elena’s morning oatmeal when I heard her squeal, “Momma! Look at that!” There was a smallish spider carefully making its way across our kitchen window — translucent creamy body, narrow torso and very long legs proportional to its body. My lower brain immediately registered it as the size of a car, […]

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On raising unapologetic daughters

Last summer, I was having lunch with my friend Heather, and she mentioned that as she headed into her office from the parking garage, there was this blind corner in a very narrow hallway, and frequently she’d cross paths with someone or get bumped into by someone coming the opposite way. Sorry! Excuse me — my […]

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BRB. I’m gonna go do a line of Facebook.

Oh, Life. So full of paradox! Contradiction! Mystery! It’s a little riddle wrapped up in minutes and hours and spilled lentil soup and babies that won’t nap for some reason and all the stuff I wish men understood but don’t. Speaking of riddles, here’s one for you: I am constantly connected, yet profoundly disconnected. And […]

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How to be angry and loving at the same time

When Elena was about 18 months old, she did something I had told her not to (I don’t remember what), and I got mad at her. It certainly wasn’t the first time I’d lost my patience with her, but I think maybe it was the first time she was able to fully register the full […]

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A beautiful autumn and missing

I am writing again, sort of, although beyond work, the writing is all about grief, trying to sort it out and navigate its dark and sometimes sweet surprises. A few days after my mom’s funeral, we all left for two weeks in the Colorado mountains. This was a family vacation we had planned a few […]

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